pain

To the Broken Boy Who Broke Me

Artwork by Jo In Hyuk

You said that the girl
who do the things you do,
is the one for you,
your dream come true.
But what are the things you always do?
you love staying at the rock bottom
and wandering the enthralling sky
while you are smelling a plant
of a different kind.
Are you telling me that the girl
who is as fragmented as you,
is the one you’ve been dreaming about?
You are a cassette tape with broken ribbons
damaged, useless and you do not sound right,
because why would someone want a girl
who parties every night?

Artwork by Jo In Hyuk

Artwork by Jo In Hyuk

And I am a type of book
no one even bothers to look at,
untouched, unbroken yet I feel lost inside.
If I were to become a number,
I will be somewhere in the millionth place
not because I am that important
but because I am way too far
to be your number one.
But I was smitten badly
so I translated your dream to reality.
You wanted a girl of your kind,
so I slowly unfolded my petals
a once Miss Goody Two-shoes
started to wear ankle boots.

Everyone said
changes did me well,
that I turned into a fully bloomed rose
fresh and ready to be picked.
Drinking coffee as the sun rises
used to be perfect,
until I started drinking beer
as the moon steals
the sky from the sun.
The clouds above,
splendidly beautiful
I only fancied them before,
but now my mouth can blow
clouds of my own.
You wanted a girl
with the same wavelength with you,
so I uttered craps
kids shouldn’t hear,
I started browsing sites,
I never new exist.

Artwork by Jo In Hyuk

Artwork by Jo In Hyuk

All of these things you love
reflect what you have been doing
you are existing but no one is proud you are.
I adore you but that is not just enough
and so was I,
I was not enough.
You wanted more,
but I already gave you
everything that I have.
You don’t know the word contentment
so you started looking for another flower
not withered
and fresh as a daisy,
amply watered,
and not like me.
But remember that I
was once a magnificent flower too?
until you picked me
from my rightful place,
it’s where I’m supposed to be.
Now my supposedly perfect summer days
are nothing but a plea.

I still remember
the sweet words you fed me,
you said, “beside you
is where I always want to be.”
But it turned out that, I am just
a stop over to the your destination.
I am just another star in the sky
you love to look at
when you’re high.
You left without a word,
without a note, without a sound,
now all I have is card
that says
I need to be found.

Artwork by Jo In Hyuk

Artwork by Jo In Hyuk

Loving a broken person,
will make you broken too.
I’ve figured that
after a few months
of crying over you.
The little pieces
of your broken self
have made their way
to my fine heart
ripping swiftly, trying to fit in,
there came your army
and leaving suddenly.
I should have listened to you,
I hate to say this
but for once, your words are true.
You gave me signals
and I beat the red light,
now my life is in chaos
and I need to pay
the damaged
I have caused.

I should have waited for a guy
who would love me as I am,
who wouldn’t ask to change
anything that comprises all I am.
If I didn’t change myself
just too suit your taste,
my life would still
be in place.
I’d be reading romantic novels
in the sea of tranquility
while waiting for a charming prince
who would watch
the sun rise with me.
Someone who has a glue,
whose soul is white
and do the things you never do.

Written by Christine Go

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