A Genuine Apology Will Do Wonders To Your Own Heart

Artwork by  Satomi

Artwork by Satomi

Take a moment to think about this question. Is there anyone in your life that you are constantly missing? Someone who crosses your mind at least once a day, but you push the thoughts away because you and this person aren’t on good terms?

“We aren’t on good terms right now” is a terrible excuse to avoid someone who matters to you. Whether it is a friend, family member or lover, there is no reason to have a consistent silence with a person you love. Regardless of the situation, the stubborn stand-off is still in progress because one or both of you are being selfish.

Not everyone is lucky enough to receive immediate forgiveness when they screw up. There is no promising that an apology will miraculously fix everything. However, giving a genuine apology will do wonders to your own heart, even if it doesn’t (appear to) affect theirs.

Collage by Haley Hendrick, remix of Matt Blank's Art

Collage by Haley Hendrick, remix of Matt Blank’s Art

If you can’t think of anything to apologize for, reach out to this person anyway. It is hard to admit, but maybe what you did wrong is wait this long to make it right.

If you don’t know where to start, a solid first step is to hand-write this person a letter and mail it to their door. In this technology obsessed world, hand-written letters are more impactful than ever. It is no secret that our generation speaks through our keyboards instead of our voices. We sit around with our eyes glazed over, putting all of our emotional energy into the arrival of a text back. We kiss and hug with emojis. We torture ourselves when our phones don’t light up fast enough. Go the extra mile and let this person see the curves of your handwriting. Give them something tangible and real that they can hold. This could be a letter, or it could be you. Expecting a text to work the same magic as a warm embrace is a devastating mistake.

Nothing is more powerful than looking someone right in the eye and telling them how you feel. Be bold, honest and raw. Leave no room for misunderstanding. Let your fast heartbeat and sweaty palms remind you how much this person means to you.

Letting go of your pride to be vulnerable for one significant moment might be the best sacrifice you’ve ever made.

If your situation is switched, and you are waiting for an apology instead of refusing to give one, please take a moment to think about the power of forgiveness.

Do everything it takes to forgive.

The road to forgiveness can be mentally exhausting, but holding grudges will drain the life out of you over time.

Tragedy does not wait until you are ready. If one of you were killed tomorrow, how many regrets would you have? It is not fun to think about this. It is cryptic and terrifying, but it is possible. Speak your heart now, because you never know when your last chance will be.

There is a famous quote that says never give up on someone you can’t go a day without thinking about. If you’re reading this post and are undoubtedly thinking about someone specific, please go tell them that you love them. You will feel like your soul lost thirty pounds when things are right again.

If you genuinely try to fix the relationship and receive nothing but hatred in return, I am sorry that my advice failed.

At the very least, you can rest assured that you made a legitimate effort. Give them space if that’s what they need, or keep on loving them if that’s what they need.

I would like to clarify that this post isn’t here to justify returning to unhealthy relationships. That is not why it was written. It was written to give you a gentle push towards someone you love who misses you.

If there are no open wounds in your relationship life – congratulations! You are most likely a relationship expert! Or you just don’t have friends.


Written by Mallory Graber