pain

You didn’t make them treat you badly

Painting by Liu Yanming

Painting by Liu Yanming

I know how you feel, I’ve felt that way too. You loved too hard and too fast. You gave your all to someone who didn’t appreciate and didn’t deserve it.

Maybe the man you fell in love with abused you, lied to you or cheated on you, either way he mistreated you. You didn’t deserve it. He was either too busy for you or wasn’t available.

You were there for him when he needed someone to talk to or when his world was falling apart in the middle of the night, you would be there for him, you made him feel loved and you gave him reassurance to the point where he knew that he didn’t fall in love with someone that’s going to break their heart. But it was not the same for you, you didn’t get the same treatment.

When you needed someone to talk to, he was busy with his friends, when you’d call him, he would be unavailable. Why? Was it your fault? Did you deserve this? No, you did not.

You gave your all to someone who didn’t appreciate you. You poured your heart out to someone who didn’t realise your worth. You trusted someone who didn’t deserve to be trusted. You’re not at fault and deserve to be loved. You went through thick and thin to keep the relationship going to the point where you felt stupid for trying to talk to someone who would push you away every chance they would get. That was their mistake, not yours.

What I want to tell you, is that, yes, what you went through must have hurt you a lot but it’s okay. It may not be today or tomorrow but someday, you will meet someone who will be worth it all, who will mend you, put your broken pieces together and make you forget how you felt in the past, someone who is going to take care of you, fall in love with you helplessly. They will except your flaws and treat you the way you deserve, loving you more than anyone else ever could.

Women tend to build up a wall around their heart, so they can guard it, protect it and make sure no one has the audacity to hurt them again — that’s where we go wrong.

In order to keep the bad out, we end up keeping the good out aswell. I know you’ve been through a lot, but don’t push people away; don’t run away from people. No one will ever be able to prove to you that they deserve a chance if they don’t get an opportunity to do so. Love is a mistake people don’t learn from.

Don’t let the past hold you back or keep you from anything, forgive the person that hurt you, don’t let your past define your future, forgive the person that hurt you, that person might have shattered your heart but that doesn’t mean that you don’t give love another chance, forgive the person that hurt you, when you forgive them you’ll let go off all the emotions you’ve been bottling up, all the things you’ve been holding back, it’ll be easier to let go off it all.

Don’t let him hold you back from falling in love. Let go; wear your heart on your sleeve. What he did to you is his mistake and losing you is his loss, don’t let that get in the way, that’s his burden, you don’t need to carry it.

The only thing you’re accountable of is your happiness. Learn from your mistakes, don’t let them hold you back, mistakes turn you into something better than you were before. Love is hard to find. I know you’re hurting, but it’s ok not to be ok. Things will get better, everything will fall back in its place. You will love again and it will be wonderful.


Story by Neha Qais.