love

Why I Refuse To Play Games In Love

Illustration via i-am-craving-you

 

Love is a game I refuse to play.

There are rules according to which you’re apparently supposed to play the strings in your heart as if it was some sort of cold instrument.

There are steps to take each at a time, as if time will always be yours. Reasons behind every action. Trick moves. Love has become a business game.

Where you’re playing with your hearts, and all you can think about is the ending point. The winning, or losing. These games we play with each other where everybody tries to judge who wins.

They tell me all the tricks: “Play it cool. Pretend it doesn’t matter. You’ll scare people away, you’re too intense. Play your cards right. Play, play, play. Say this, don’t say that. Let him come to you.”

If it’s difficult just leave it. Game over. Go have a drink and take a break from playing.

Love has become but a game of should and shouldn’t. For love may never be that overflowing feeling that fills you up and leaves you empty if it’s gone. Love may never be a tune that reminds you of sweet summertime escapes and sticky flavours of ice cream you shared together. 

Love may never be the best thing that happened to you. Love might never become your best friend. Love in our times is not lived, it’s but a game.

We are not free to say whatever we want, whenever we want. Not free to show this so called love. For while being told to be idealistically honest and open about your feelings, we are also taught to build up walls of playtime that will never let us grow into pure, loving beings.

Play rules that will always hold us hostage, in our rooms, overthinking. Unable to run into someone’s arms and simply feel good. We are crushed underneath the heavy weight of this new age thing they still call love.

Sometimes we are unable to wear our hearts on our sleeves and set them free. Let love spread wings. Let love be great. Let love be alive.

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Written by Rubina Bala

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