lust

What Happens When Two Emotionally Unavailable People Meet And Start Falling In Love

Artwork by  Michael Reedy

Artwork by Michael Reedy

I first saw Her in a building I was working on. She was leaving her flat and smiled at me in the middle of the stairs. I watched her and she had this little tattoo behind her neck. Was the first thing I noticed. Didn’t take much before she come back. She was going home. We smiled and this time I watched her behind. She had a beautiful backside.

I told to my coworker I had to fuck her.

I ran to the van picked a pen, adhesive tape, tore a piece of paper and wrote her a little letter. I went upstairs and glued the note on her front door to make sure she would see.

Three weeks went by and I did not have news from her. Frankly, I had forgot about it. I was surprised when she sent me the first message after all that time.

– “How are you?” “Do you want to talk on Facebook?”

– “Sure” “add me” I said.

I found it incredibly weird. She waited three fucking weeks before deciding talk to me. She told me she was really careful with strangers, but she thought the note was really cute, a bit strange but cute. She could be saying the truth, but I remember thinking she had someone. A sex friend or something else. She was seeming for some fun, I thought.

We talked a lot and I discovered after a short period of time she loved games. She loved them as much as me. The first young woman I knew smart enough to make everything more interesting. She told me her life was all about music, food and sex. She had a sex friend. I didn’t  care and I told her I had more than one. She didn’t care either.

We flirted and she had a party Saturday night if I remember correctly.

– “I’m going to a party” “don’t worry, I ate onion”

– “Is that your secret against rape?”

– “We can call it that way”

She got drunk. Kept sending me messages all the time. She was teasing me and that’s exactly what I wanted.

We stopped eventually and in the morning she told me something had happened. She slept with a friend in the same bed. The sex was bad, she didn’t like it. I told her I didn’t really care and I was merely worried about her.

I wanted to see her and after some days I asked her out.

– “I would like to see you today”

– “Let’s do something”

– “Perhaps you have plans with your sex friend”

– “Actually, I have a party tonight” “But it can wait”

I invited myself to her flat. I took my shower, dressed up, brushed my teethe and left. She sent me a message in the meantime.

– “Do you mind if my sister stays a bit with us”

– “No” “it’s ok”

The idea didn’t really please me, but I didn’t want to be rude. I arrived ten minutes early and waited. She was in the supermarket buying some food for us. Her sister wasn’t with her when she came .

She opened the door and we got in. She had a nice studio and I liked her bed. Wasn’t actually a bed, but a mattress.

I sat on the couch and she went to the fridge and grabbed two beers. I was going to help her, but she seemed nervous and almost dropped one on the floor. We laughed about it and began to drink. The sister had finally arrived and she was cool. I liked to talk with her. They were identical twins.

She helped her with the food, ate something and left briefly after. The food was wonderful. Something really easy to do. Cheese, bacon and bread. I still do it now and then. We ate and watched Californication with my Netflix account. She hold my hands. We began to get closer and closer. I felt some vibes between us, but they were mixed up.

Her sister sent her a message saying I was cute. I joked about it, saying everyone tells me that. She took a package of cigarretes of her purse.

– “Do you mind if I smoke”

– “No” “go ahead”

She opened the window and smoked. I got up and squeezed my body against her. I hugged her tightly.

– “You want to sleep here?” She said.

– “If you don’t mind.” “I had a few drinks already.”

– “I go take a shower”

I knew I would fuck her that night. She knew it as well. I stand there on the couch listening the water flowing. She opened the door of the bathroom with a TSHIRT and some panties. She went to the fridge to pack up the food. The fridge was small and she bent over. I watched her body.

We went to the mattress and she asked me if I was afraid of her

– “Why” I said

– “Because you don’t take off your pants.”

I took them off and went with her under the sheets. The music was playing in the background. Flume, Chet faker and some of other stuff. I wanted to fuck her, but I waited for hours. My hands were all over her. My skin was touching her skin. I made my move and kissed her. We started to fuck and I looked straight into her cunt. Her legs were on my shoulders and after a while she turned me upside down and came on top. The sex was great she could move her hips really well. I always enjoyed someone who liked to be on the top. Lucky me. Was one of her favorite positions. She came and I came shortly after. We talked a bit more, but didn’t take too much before we start fucking again. In the middle of the act she told me ‘I squirt’. I came almost instantly after she said that. We slept after the second time.

RECOMMENDED READING: LET’S JUST HAVE SEX CAUSE LOVE, LOVE WILL TEAR US APART AGAIN

We woke up and was late. We ate, dressed and I drove her to her Parents’ house. She didn’t text me all day. I found it weird because I knew she enjoyed it.

– “How are you?” I said

–  “I’m sorry we are just friends.”

– “Did I ask you something?”

– “Black and White”

I really wanted to fuck her again because of the squirt thing. But if she was playing I could play much better. I stopped talking with her for one or two days. I was going to my home country on vacations anyway.

– “I want to be with you before you go” she said one afternoon.

– “Ok”

– “But I am too busy”

– “I’m sure you are going to find the time.” “It`s going to be worth it”

– “I know.”

We started playing with each other. Not a normal game, but a fucking psychological war to see which one would fall first.

The day arrived and I went there again. Deja Vu. We ate the same thing. We watch the same serie. That night we talked much more. She told me she had sex with eitheen guys the past year and I told her I had sex with more than twenty. She asked me if I would mind if she fucked someone else. I told her I couldn’t knew. I asked her the same and she gave me the same answer. If she was the bitch I was the asshole.

We were on the couch and she started getting closer and closer. Her hands were holding my hands. Her head was on my left shoulder. We watched the serie for a long time. She decided I should sleep on the couch.

– “I am going to open the couch” She said

– “You don’t need is fine like this”

We discussed because of it. She opened it in the end. We said good night but she didn’t leave.

– “Let’s watch some 9gag before sleep” She said

– “Good idea.”

She laid on the couch with me. She didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want it either. Was getting late and I had to work in the morning.

– “It’s getting late” I said

– “You work tomorrow?”

– “Yes.” “Look, if we want sleep together we should.”

– “You’re probably right”

I went under the sheets with her. She was with some tight leggings and a big t-shirt on her that looked like a dress. We couldn’t sleep so we talked, we talked during hours until eventually we stopped and slept for an hour. We kept waking up. Her hands were holding both of my hands. She would squeeze them once in a while and I would squeeze them back. She brought her lips close to mine. Almost touching. She was playing the game so fucking well and I was doing the same, but we both knew what was in the end. We didn’t fuck that night. We wanted, but we didn’t.

We tangled and slept again for another hour. My alarm rang. I dressed, went downstairs and drove to work. I was going to my Home country for one week the day after. I was really happy about it. I had a new house there and I had to try my new bed. The first thing I did there when I arrived was fucking someone in my brand new house.

We were always arguing about trivial things. I don’t even remember anymore, but one day we talked a lot.

– “Send me a picture” She said

– “Is everything ok?”

– “I’m not feeling good”

I sent her a picture and asked her what was going on.

– “I don’t like what I see on the mirror.” “I’m doing a lip lifting and some mammary implants.”

– “You are ok.” “You shouldn’t”

– “It’s my decision”

– Indeed”

– “I stop seeing my sex friend”

– Why…”

– “Just Because…”

She was not the most beautiful girl, but she was all right. She had this style that made her really unique. She had a lot of demons tough. She was seeing some psychologist. Sometimes I actually felt really close to her.

Things between us kept getting weirder and weirder once I came back. I was getting tired of the game and to be honest, I’m not even sure if still was a game for me. We talked about it on the phone and we decided to see each other.

She was in her parents’ house. I drove there one day at night. We talked. We smoked. We couldn’t find anything that pleased the two of us. We erase the numbers in front of each other. Any sort of contact was blocked because we knew. We would talk again if we had a way to do it. I drove her back. We hugged. We kissed. She left.

It’s been over a month last time we spoke. She would give me a sign she was still alive and I would do the same but nothing more.

One day I decided install tinder. I was bored. She was the first girl I saw there. I swiped right. She swiped right. Funny.

She’s like me. I have been with six after her. She’s probably fucking a bunch of dudes. Can I blame her?

Sometimes I still think about her and I get sad. She probably won’t sleep alone tonight. But surely she will feel lonely. black and white my ass

Submitted to ArtParasites by Marten