empathy

I Want To Make You Forget About Checking Your Notifications

Painting by Dan Witz

Painting by Dan Witz

I get bored very easily.

I am trying my best to fix this and to reach a level where I can enjoy everything I do, so as not to spend most of my life feeling bored and constantly hungry for something to make me feel enthusiastic.

Of course the type of self discipline where you learn to practice gratitude and/or focus to make even the most boring tasks more bearable is very desirable, but I am just not there yet.

It is probably this lack of continuity, coupled with a strong hunger to feel profoundly alive, that has me frequently craving to be somewhere else, doing something else with somebody else.

I really appreciate the moments when I don’t want to be anywhere else, with anyone else, doing anything else.

I am also very grateful for the people who make me forget about my phone because phones have become a litmus test for wanting to be somewhere else. Perhaps that is why we keep scrolling through Facebook aimlessly: we want to find something to take the boredom away, something to transpose use into another place where we feel better.

This is the first step for me: killing my desire to take out my phone and open three or four apps when I feel bored. I could be doing something else, something more productive, more creative, and more effective in dealing with boredom. It’s not only distracting to want to be somewhere else, but it blocks you from enjoying your current experiences.

I got so used to doing this that sometimes I even do it when I feel well and entertained and I am in good company. We just make a habit of picking up the phone and opening those apps. We do it almost involuntarily sometimes, even when we have a pretty decent time.

However, there are always people with whom you have such a good time that you completely forget about your phone when you’re with them. I am extremely grateful for their existence; I think anyone who can command the full attention of another to the point where they have no desire to look at their phone is doing something right.

That’s why I think that “I want to be the person that makes you forget about checking your notifications” should definitely become one of the best lines to use when flirting.

It has become harder to be present and focused on what you are doing at any given moment. What is most surprising and also very telling is that people are still on their phone while spending time with a lover or their friends; the most important people save for their families.

Why would that someone be on the phone for? I can understand the people that are on their phone when they have their friends next to them, but are single or are away from their lover. They are either trying to attract a prospective lover or to keep in touch with the one they already have. It goes the same when one is with his or her lover but away from his friends.

But who is the guy who is in the club with his friends and his girlfriend, and is texting? What is he on the phone for? I doubt that he is texting his parents or a member of his family. I also doubt that he should need entertainment given the place where he is and the people he is with. What is he seeking then? Can this be considered to be a sign that his relationship is slowly decomposing or a very good example that we simply have developed habits that stop us from being present and from being happy in a certain moment? Both of them could apply, together or separately.

Considering that this problem is so acute, it is worth reaffirming how important those people that force us out of these habits are. I’m not necessarily talking about the individuals here because people in our lives come and go and the person that fascinates you today might be gone tomorrow. Instead I am referring generally to those people that show us, with their presence, that we can have a good time without checking our phone and counting up the likes so we can weigh the attention we get from others. I am talking about those people with whom we connect to a level that makes us feel entertained and fascinated just by listening to their stories and their opinions, thus taking us out of this state of boredom that we all go through and that we try to escape so often using our phones.

What is also beautiful is that everybody has the capacity to be this type of person for somebody. The sad part is that you don’t get to choose whom you make forget to check their phone and whom you take out of this state of boredom, as much as you don’t get to choose who likes you or not.

As a person that tries his best to avoid moments of boredom and tries to get more and more moments of feeling alive, I strive to give the people I meet the same feeling I would like to receive from them. I think it would be beautiful if more and more of us would make a habit out of trying to captivate people so much as to take them out of their state of boredom, to inspire them, and to be somehow dealers of awe.


I want to be the person that makes you ignore your phone even when it rings. I want to get so much of your attention that you forget about Facebook, Snapchat, and all of those things. I want to make you forget what boredom is, if only for an hour.

Poet and writer, Alec is currently pursuing a degree in law and he is deeply passionate about human rights and humanity. He is also a full time art lover and dreamer that never says no to long conversations about life, love and humans. His latest novel is called A hospital four souls.