pain

To The Guy Who Broke My Heart And Fixed It At The Same Time

Artwork by Dominique Fortin

Artwork by Dominique Fortin

We all have experienced a major heartbreak, whether it comes from a friend, a family member or a lover. And if you are from the lucky ones who don’t know what a heartbreak is, then I got bad news for you. Someday you will experience the feeling to the deepest edges of your soul. It may sounds pessimistic and arrogant but if life taught you one thing, is that only within pain you truly learn and change. That’s why I’m so sure of what I’m telling you. Anyways, I experienced mine last summer, when I was 16 and it’s still one of the most dark and painful stories of my life.

Boy, you know that you broke me into thousands pieces. I lost myself during our relationship due to my love for you and after our breakup, cause of your disinterest. You fucking knew that I wanted to keep in touch, yet you did nothing. I don’t care  -when months later-  you said that you were thinking about me, that you tried once to text me just to see how I was doing but failed and that you appreciated me more after I was gone. And you know why? Because that’s just words, not actions. I may believe you but I can’t ignore the fact that you didn’t prove your sayings then and still aren’t.

However, I’ve got to admit that if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t knew that I have daddy issues due to my father’s abundance and negligence when I was a child. It was during these dark months that I understood I could not longer rely to no-one, especially men. I don’t hate you nor my father. Actually I still love and care about you. So thanks to you, I discovered that if I want something,  it’s only up to me to get it. You broke a part of me but you fixed another. The one which had a label outside hanging on the door, saying· «Daddy issues heart department» . I’m still in love with you and despite the pain you are causing me, I thank you for this experience.

P.S. To all the people out there who have experienced a lot of suffering, learn to see the good in the bad and the bad in the good. Everyone and everybody has something to teach you.

A 17-year-old girl.