The Thing About Being Sexually Liberated

Photography by  Tim Walker

Photography by Tim Walker

We live in a society where being sexually liberal is becoming more and more common, as well as accepted. Humans of all sorts are going out, having sex, and living to tell the tale (trust me when I say there are all kinds of things to be said). And honestly, there is nothing wrong with that. Being open minded is something we should all strive towards as we try to create a “modern” world for all of us to live in.

Yet we seem to be living this constant double standard. We are bombarded with sex propaganda, whether it be billboards, music or simply the clothes we wear. All around us images of hedonism fill our minds with fantasies (most of which are things that can, literally, only be fulfilled while the film is rolling and our internet connection is decent). Simultaneously we encounter morality in many of its forms, which advises us to shut everything out and be chaste. This is why there seems to be a constant pressure of sexuality which weighs on all of our shoulders.  It’s a pressure to be sexual, to release the animal inside and let it take us to places we’ve never been with people we’ll most likely never see again (but don’t tell anyone you enjoy releasing your inner animal, they will probably think badly of you!).

This is slowly becoming the norm.

This leaves men to pursue crazy one time ventures with the only thing on their minds being naked flesh. And not too far behind them are women who are trying to prove the point that, they as well, can sleep around and enjoy it. It is true, women can and do sleep around. They can and do enjoy the excitement of experimenting and being sexually liberal, but only up to a point. After this point things become tricky. Women start feeling used, empty, harassed, even abused.

See, we (males and females) are wired differently. A man can sleep with many women, and simply not care very much about any of them.  For the most part they care about physical pleasure, about finishing. Yes of course men have feelings, it’s just that when it comes to sex they can usually separate the two. And from the time they lay eyes on the prey to when they are throwing themselves about her, panting and covered in sweat,  all they think about is the end result (as well as whether or not they could get away with not using a condom).

Where as the average woman is going to have sex while subconsciously looking for affection. She may consider herself a modern feminist, enjoying her right to flaunt her sexuality in any way she wishes. And she will enjoy herself, but only if she can completely shut down most parts of her brain and think only about the physical act of this man ramming her and making odd noises. She will find pleasure in sex only if she lets go of everything she’s ever been told about being “a lady” and if she just stops thinking about what is actually going on.

Now, what actually happens is that the woman thinks about what is going on (surprised?). She expects passion, empathy, lust… but what she really gets is a cold, horny man that could care less about those things and could care more about rubbing his hands all over her. He is not incapable of passion, but because that kind of sex means little to him he’s not going to try very hard. Meanwhile the woman is not a man, and because of this she will not be able to find pleasure in said mundane act of sex. So in her eyes men become barbaric and sex becomes redundant.

Two people having sex, for the sake of having sex, are never going to enjoy it equally or completely. A man needs a lot less to be satisfied than a woman. He isn’t looking for the connection the woman will be seeking, whether she is aware of it herself or not. Sleeping around will be harder for the female simply because it requires a lack of emotion. And emotion is something unavoidable when it comes to women and sexual satisfaction. When it comes down to it, men and women will never be able to enjoy sexual liberty to the same extent, the core of sex means two different things to the two genders, and that’s about all there is to say about it.

This, of course, is one large general statement. Not all men are emotionless pigs, and not all women are insanely emotional crybabies.

Submitted to ArtParasites by Mirjana