Painting by Frida Kahlo

Play this first

I don’t know how some people can appear indifferent
How they can receive a punch in the heart with no muscle twitching
How they manage not to dissolve
How they manage to remain silent
And where do they hide that shout
The cry of that bird of prey
When dreams get broken
And there are ashes everywhere.
Where do they keep the flame that makes them move forward.
As they get older
-old clowns at the circus of love-
Their mouths remain silent
But the repetitive earhquakes go on shadowing their eyes.
There is something wrong with this circus
There are arrows everywhere
And muddy puddles of trust
There are broken mirrors on the walls of our cabins
And the live streaming broke off
There is less communication
And we are less human, more ghostly
Filled with foggy disappointment
The air of confusion gets heavy
And hollow acrobats go on bathing Somewhere in the underground.
We’ve been falling from a place that resembles heaven
They shout
And the public goes on withdrawing
Like tidal waves
Laughing
The light gets dim
And the night owls keep shouting
Give us back the language of spring
We’re clowns, we’re owls, we’re lovers
Let the puppets fall to the ground
Let us know the true taste of lonesliness
That arrives unexpected all the time.
Let us speak loudly until our tongues start licking the ground.
There were holes in our hearts already
But we recieved the gunshots precisely there
We recieved them like letters from our past lovers
With anger and surprise
And then we stripped off and we started yelling: there is nothing we should hide in the dark
And the light gets dim
And the public keeps withdrawing
Like tidal waves
Laughing
The clowns start getting older
And the acrobats bathe in the underground
There is something wrong with this circus
We’re puppets, we’re clowns, we’re lovers
And what used to be an imaginary heaven
Is now a tangible, breathing, realist hell.

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Laura Livia Grigore is a poet, painter and psychology enthusiast, with a background in space engineering. She likes to experiment with various mediums and types of writing. Her artwork is orientated on emotions, reflecting her opinion that most of the answers we need can be found inside ourselves, although the hardest thing to do is to be sincere with oneself.

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