pain

Moving On Is Not That Easy

Light installation by Robert Montgomery

Light installation by Robert Montgomery

I keep looking for you everywhere, don’t know if it’s love or just a habit. I mean, I don’t remember the brand of your car but I keep turning my head everytime a white one passes near me. Or, when I bump into someone who wears glasses… I feel vulnerable.

I don’t really know how I’m going to react if Fate puts you in front of me again; if I would feel happiness, love or nothing at all. That’s the reason why I would like it to happen, but I’ve visit almost every place we used to go and you weren’t in any of those… So, I have begun to believe that just like Fate insisted on put you in my way, now wants you out of it.

I should really begin to let it make my decisions.  To stop the tireless pursuit of our past moments. To forget and forgive you.

I have to stop wondering about what you do, about if you are dating someone else. And in case you are, Is she pretty? Is she worth it? Is she going to bear the weight of your pride? Is she putting you all the attention that your ego demands? Is she playing by your rules? Or does she have the right to express herself that, by the way, I didn’t?

Don’t misunderstand this. You were almost as worth as my freedom, because you tried so hard to keep me by your side… but you couldn’t.

You still are so much more valuable that most people. More than all the drunk guys who have approached to me. For example:

The one who recited a cheap speech. And then, minutes later, got me asking to keep his hands off of me.

The one who was really handsome and instead of the speech, made me jokes, but had a “problem” tattoo on his forehead… besides the non metaphorical ones all over his arms.

You are so much more valuable than all of them. And you were worth a lot of things, but not loosing myself to keep you by my side. Not my freedom… Nobody has that much value.

Written by MMTD