Where do I begin?
We’ve all grown up watching movies and readings books about the perfect romances, where despite everything everyone gets their happy ending.
We like to believe that each and every person that comes into our lives is going to stay forever and when they leave we beat ourselves up for letting that happen.
First we analyze, then we over analyze. We contemplate every situation, ever memory, every conversation just in the hope we figure out what exactly caused it to turn out the way it did. I did too. I cried, I yelled. Lived in denial for months. Hoping that it’ll be fine, believing that love exists.
After months of lies and cheating, the truth finally came out. To be honest it killed me a little from inside but then I thought to myself. Thank god he’s gone. I loved him with all I had. Just like any other girl, I was ready to do anything for him, give up anything for him. Little did I know when given a choice the only thing he gave up was me. It broke me.
Seeing the person you love choose someone else over you. It makes you feel worthless but only in moments like these do you truly realize what it is that you actually need in life.
Do you need someone who took you for granted? Do you need someone who never cared? Do you need someone who’d break you just to save himself some trouble?
Everyone deserves more than empty apologies and broken promises. In a generation like ours where people don’t talk about their feelings, you don’t need someone who exploits your vulnerability. I knew people cheated. I knew people lied, little did I know that one can so conveniently destroy the other person without an ounce of remorse.
He was my first love. He was all I wanted but I’m glad he got away. He was a self-absorbed, attention-seeking boy. Who sucked the life out of you till he could, then left you to pick up the pieces yourself.
After months of pain and false hopes and anxiety, a part of me feels free. A part of me still hurts but I know that’s not going to last long. Memories still come crashing and make me break down from time to time but I know it’s for the best. No one should be anyone’s second priority. We get the love we think we deserve so why settle for someone who isn’t worth a second look. Why long for someone who didn’t think twice about hurting you.
First love is the hardest to forget but it teaches you more than any other experience in life does. Keep believing. The right one is just around the corner waiting to save you from all your heartbreaks. So don’t give up. Go party, make wine your best friend, love your friends but most importantly love yourself.
Submitted by Hitachi Mahendru