love

Fall In Love With A Man Not Meant For You

Illustration by Agnes Cecile

 

Disregard your better judgement
And fall in love.
Disregard what they have told you about who, why and how to love
And fall in love.
Disregard the expiration date that looms on this love
And fall in love.

Find him in a vegan restaurant
In a chic cafe
Or somewhere as equally pretentious.
Find him smoking a hand rolled cigar.

Find him on the subway
Looking at you looking lost.
Look so helpless that he is compelled to come up to you
And ask if you need help.
Of course you do
Look at you – you look so helpless.

Find him on the beach
Looking at you looking exotic.
Look so exotic that he is compelled to come up to you
And ask if you’re from around here.
Of course you’re not
Look at you – you look so exotic.

Ask him how to get to the museum.
Ask him how to get nowhere.
Ask him for a cigarette.
Ask him if the seat is taken.
Ask him how old his soul is.
Ask him what he is doing for dinner.
And breakfast and every other meal
For the rest of ever
Or at least till the end of summer
Because that’s how long you’ve got
And you don’t want to miss a thing.

Realize that life is too short
You don’t care that he is 8 years older than you
You’ve never wanted anything more than you want him
Realize that you don’t care that you don’t have a future
That life is too cruelly short.

Realize that when he speaks in his language
Its not the accent that melts your heart
But the vast oblivion surrounding each word.

Realize that he makes you want to dance in the Indian monsoon.
Scream at the Grand Canyon
Stand naked under the Northern Lights.
Wherever you find him, remember to let your guards down.

Let yourself be unpredictable, be passionate.
Have your first kiss mid-sentence.
Catch him off guard, surprise him
Kiss him without reservation, wholly, wildly
And know that he will never be the same again.

Let yourself be kind
When the time comes for farewell.
Let your capacity to feel
So much sorrow and longing surprise you.

Let yourself stare into his eyes with resignation
Sigh that deep sigh of despair
That says that you will miss him for the rest of your life.

Let him come to the airport.
Bury your face in his chest
Whisper that you have fallen in love with him
Do it in his language.

Fall in love with a man not meant for you.

—

Nupur Saraswat

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