A poem to get you through the five stages of grief without losing yourself

Artwork by Lolaine Bill

Artwork by Lolaine Bill

They said there are five stages of grief

So here is to hiding in denial, a river in my homeland

And here is my angry letter, in a crazy moment I sent

Here is my bargaining poem

And my writer’s block depression

And here is me accepting it, but I am still in remission


They said wishes and prayers are powerful tools

So I wished upon a shooting star for you to stay safe,

And I prayed in the rain for you to never hurt again,

I wished on all the mystical dates for your heart to find peace,

And prayed for your return but all were wasted years


So I said to hell with it all, the grieving and the art, the wishing and praying

Here is my anger and my broken heart

Naked, displayed for the whole world to see

I summed up all the cruelty and wrote down my spell


Then once upon a time, you came late at night

You said you saw it all and my prayers have been right

But darling don’t you see, I never meant you harm

I prayed for months and weeks, for you to stay well

Then just this one day, I wished you’d feel my hell


If just this one prayer has actually been heard

Then who am I to tell, that the rest weren’t as well

So here is for the golden memories and for my sweet paperman

My prayers were not wasted and I will pray for you some more

May your soul find peace and the stars light your way home

May you find it in your heart to someday forget it all

May kindness overwhelm you and love overflows

’cause darling, if your love was a grain of sand

Mine would be a universe of endless beaches.

Prayer, Passant A. AbdelAal

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