pain

A POEM TO MAKE YOU FEEL OKAY ABOUT PUSHING PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR LIFE

Artwork by  Jeremy Geddes

Artwork by Jeremy Geddes


Dear all,

 

This is not an apology.

I study physics, you all know that, and I spend more than 80% of my day thinking of how to get the value of “x” in an equation, setting up experiments with a 15% of error margin and thinking why atoms move how they move.

People say physics is hard, and maths are hard, and science is hard.

As a physicist, I’ll tell you that nothing has an absolute value, everything is always a comparison.

You see, hard is telling your best friend that you don’t want to see him anymore because you are too afraid that he knows you too well.

Hard is, kissing and sleeping with someone that loves you and that you are not able to love back because you have build walls so high around you that you don’t know how to demolish them anymore.

Hard is wanting to be alone because you cannot stand yourself and you don’t know why.

Hard is getting up in the mornings and wishing sleeping was not something temporary.

Hard is not knowing why you do what you do and keep on doing it.

Hard is looking at yourself in the mirror and don’t feel like it is you.

Hard is, eventually, don’t feeling anything all day and just feel anguish when you realized the day has passed and you have feel absolutely nothing.

 

Sometimes is even hard to fucking wash the dishes.

 

So, for all of you guys,

I will keep on with quantum mechanics.

The rest is just too hard.

Varo Garcia Valle