Hi Ammi (mother),
I know mother’s day has been long gone and you are busy right now with household chores, simultaneously worrying about what to make for dinner, but could you please take out 5 minutes to hear me out?
I know you’re growing old and you know I’m growing up. There is a lot you want to say to me but don’t, thinking I wouldn’t care. There is a lot I wish to say to you but I don’t, thinking you wouldn’t understand. Honestly, this communication gap makes me uncomfortable at times. Give this a read so you know how I feel.
I know our relationship is not always smiles, but at the end of every day you will be the only constant friend in my life, here to love me despite all my shortcomings. When I’m out an hour late please understand that I am having fun and I’ll be home soon, it’s okay to give me 34 missed calls but it’s also okay to wait because I really will call back. When I look into the mirror, stand beside me and point out flaws, but never enough to bring me down, always to tell me I’m beautiful with or without them.
Tell me that this world is a dangerous and scary place so you’ll have to take care of me but also put your trust in me to make my own decisions; that’s how I’ll learn, that’s how I’ll grow. I know you will not always exactly appreciate the color I dye my hair in, but I know you’ll always take a picture of me when I’m happy about how it looks.
Know that I will always be thankful.
Thank you for instilling the strong sense of morals and values you did in me, for I look around today and find very less people to believe in the things I do. Thank you for all those hour-long lectures on dignity and self-respect for they made me want to fall in love with myself before I let a man have that honor. Thank you for letting me have that lunch date with my friends even when baba wasn’t too sure about the plan, but you secretly knew how badly I needed it. Thank you for treating my best friends like princesses every time they come our house over to spend some time with me. Thank you for understanding my ultimate love for clothes but also teaching me modesty and simplicity.
Thank you for letting me buy those new pair of shoes because you saw the smile they brought to my face, and even if you didn’t like the shoes very much, you definitely loved the smile. Thank you for letting me deal with that fight I had with a friend alone, it made me stronger.
Thank you for giving me space every time you hear me banging my door close, knowing I’d probably need to sort my problem out myself. Thank you for giving me the strength to walk away from toxic friendships and friends that didn’t make me a good person. Thank you for being brutally honest with me, about how that pair of jeans looks hideous on me and how that scarf really doesn’t go with that kameez. Thank you for letting me learn the importance of trust and healthy relationships and for putting up with me. I know I can be hard to understand at times, but you will always be my safest harbor, so thank you for that.
And most importantly, thank you for teaching me how to raise a daughter, Ammi.
I love you.
Written by Iqra Jalal
30DaysChallenge. Day 5.
“Whom Do You Love? Why? Write a Letter And Tell Them.”