pain

36 Questions An Abandoned And Mistreated Lover Feels Like Asking All The Time

Artwork by Keller and Wittwer

Artwork by Keller and Wittwer

Hi, how are you? How have you been lately?

Did you get that ring you wanted? Did you get that dress we talked about oh so long ago?

What are your plans for the summer? Anything interesting or just chilling? Maybe taking a trip?

What are you plans for next semester? Did you find an apartment? Do you have your classes set up?

How are your dogs? How is your family? Your mom? Sister? Niece? Dad? Uncle? Do they miss me as much as I miss them?

Do you miss me? Did you ever miss me? Do you care that I still miss you?

Do you care that I’m hurting? That I can’t sleep or eat? That I have panic attacks? When did you stop caring about my well-being and happiness? When will I stop caring about yours?

If you know this pain, how can you have no problem giving it to me? If you fear abandonment, why did you abandon me? Why did you leave when I needed you the most after I stayed when you needed me the most? How could you do this to me?

Is this the real you? Is this fake? Are you doing this to piss me off? To hurt me? Did I ever know you? Did you lie about everything? Were you afraid I wasn’t going to like this you?

Why did you leave? After all this time, can you explain it to me? Was it because of him? Did you leave me for him? Do you care about all the promises you broke?

What did I do wrong? Did I say something wrong? Was I a bad person to you? Why couldn’t you just have talked to me about it? Why couldn’t we just fix it?

Why didn’t you fight for me like I always did for you? Do you just don’t care? Did you ever care? Why couldn’t you come back after I begged?

Did you move on because of him? Did you just replace me? Am I that worthless? That expandable? Was I always like that to you?

Does he treat you right? Does he trust you like I did? Do you take him to all our old spots? Do the plans you had with me still apply to him? Does your family like him? What does he have that I lack? Why him? When did it start? Why were you unfaithful to me? Was I not enough? Are you just using him like you did with me? Are you going to leave him for someone else when you get tired of him too? Why did you get tired of me?

Don’t you have doubts about my life? Don’t you feel like a big part of you is gone? Does the flood of our memories hurt you as much as they hurt me?

How could you move on so fast? How long did it take you? A week? Two weeks? Why can’t I move on after months? How can what we have be real if you are already fine? Where you already moving on while we were still together?

Why can’t I move on after all this time? Why am I afraid of relationships now? Can I ever trust someone again? Do you even care about destroying my confidence and belief in love?

Was it real for you? Was it all a lie? Did you ever feel something for me? Did you ever care about me? Did you just used me? Did you ever really love me? Was every kiss a lie? Every hug? Every “I love you”?

Why did you lie? Why did you pretend to care when you didn’t? Why did you say I love you when you didn’t? Why did you let me spend so much time, effort and money when it was all a lie? Why did you use me? What did you gain? Was destroying someone worth it?

Don’t you care about hurting people? Don’t you care about others people’s feelings? Are you that heartless? That selfish? Do you even know how to love? Do you even know what is love?

How can you still have so much power over me? Why am I afraid of you? How much more can you hurt me? Why can’t I just move on if I know its what’s best for me?

Why did I have to meet you? Why did I have to say hi? Why couldn’t I have walked away when everyone told me to? When I saw the signs? Why did I have to fall in love with you? Why did I give you so much importance and power in my life? Why can’t I just take it away from you right now? Why do I blame myself for being so stupid? How could I be so stupid? So blind? So ignorant? Why do I regret ever asking you out?

Will these questions ever get answered? Do I really want the answers when they can hurt me so much?

Who are you? And why did you do this to me?

Goodbye…?

Written by Diego Barcala