love

11 Things I Regret After Our Break-Up

Painting by Jen Mann

Painting by Jen Mann

1. I regret that you always drifted across my mind at 3AM.

2. I regret everything I gave you; everything from the human-sized stuffed animals to my time. You were my first priority like how eggs are on the top of your mother’s grocery list.

3. I regret that I took you to my favorite places. I realized that our story is like the first time I watched the sunset with you, when the last ray of sunlight said goodnight, the darkness said hello and stars started to creep in the night sky.

4. I regret that I am still holding on. Preparing for the next chapter of our relationship, waiting for you, for us, to gaze at the gazillion of stars. My heart mourns that you really let go of me.

5. I regret that I told you my deepest, darkest secrets and that its yours now to tell to others.

6. I regret every single tear that my eyes shed. I am ashamed of myself; I want to hide. If only I can bring back my tears every night, because they say too much. Every droplet shouts about our life together and whispers lies about being together forever.

7. I regret all the things that I wrote to you. I want to erase every word written to you in indigo ink. I want to crumple all the love notes I made for you. But I would have to stitch my mouth shut to never speak of you, break every canvas, and delete every record of you. You made out with all of my creations. I am still writing you, but I turned every memory into a scar.

8. I regret believing you and waiting when you said you would call. It’s like I’m still glued to the spot where you left me. It’s like I’d stepped on tar after you told me we’re over. The worst part is that you only left me with your decision; no excuses, no reasons, nothing. You let me believe in your vows, unspoken.

9. I regret the moment we first met; the origin of our relationship. Remember the moment of our getting-to-know-yous, the moment you held my hand for the first time. Remember the moment you first wrote your phone number on a Kleenex. It was the moment you told me that you fell in love at first sight.

10. I regret that it took me a long time to forget you. No. You are still in my mind, clinging on to every wrinkle in my brain, jumping in every part of my heart. Your name is tattooed on my skin. Sometimes I want to stand out in the rain, in hope that the ink will wash away.

11. I regret that I still think of you at 3 AM.

Submitted to ArtParasites by Aaron Dale Miranda