Painting by Catrin Welz-Stein

1. The most important thing in life is to remember that you’re never too old, too young, too rich, too poor, too strong, too weak, too clever, too stupid, too famous, too infamous to apologize. Whatever you are, you’re never too much or less of anything to not apologize.

2. It doesn’t matter if you’re older, if you’re at fault, apologize. Just because the person you’ve hurt is younger than you, doesn’t justify your lack of empathy. Even if he/she is younger than you, he/she still has feelings. No, it’s not okay to brush it off just because you were born years before them. It doesn’t matter if you’ve had a bad day, it doesn’t matter if the world has always treated you badly so you’ll do the same. Nobody deserves your unjustified anger. Nobody.

3. If you think it makes you look smaller or fragile or weak, it doesn’t. It makes you look humble, sturdier, it makes you empathetic, it makes you brave, it makes you gallant, it makes you human. A good example of one.

4. You might hurt people, intentionally or unintentionally, we all do that, it’s okay. What’s not okay is to NOT acknowledge that you have hurt them. You don’t get to decide that. What you do and what you say is your choice, the impact of your words or actions on others in not something you can just decide. Take responsibility for what you say. Take heed while you speak, that’s a human being you’re talking to.

5. We all have regrets about failing to saving a relationship just because we couldn’t apologize or didn’t just listen when they were sincerely apologizing. It’s alright. What’s done is done. If you can still fix it, fix it. It won’t be like before but if it still can be saved from drowning, throw a life-jacket, jump in the ocean and save it. You’ll be surprised how easy it was. If not, it’s okay. You did whatever you could have. It’s better late than never. It’s still going to hurt but it’ll be less than before.

6. We’re all made of skin and bones, if you’ll cut me, I’ll bleed. If I’ll cut you, you’ll bleed. We all feel the same things. We all feel the deepest love, the darkest rage, the crushing disappointment, the never-ending sadness, the infinite longing, the red-hot embarrassment. If you’re the cause of someone’s pain, the least you can do is acknowledge it. Even if you don’t apologize, acknowledge it at least. “I’ve hurt you. I know.” This is it. This is it. Apologize when you can, it can make someone’s wounds a bit better. Apologies are like bandages. Remember that.

7. Your apology can save someone’s life, someone’s belief that the world isn’t as cold as they thought it was. Say you’re sorry. Don’t worry if someone is unbelievably mad at you, and you fear that they’ll reject your apology, do it anyway. Don’t think whether they realize how sincere your apology is, don’t think what they think about it, say it anyway. It’s alright. If they value you, they’ll understand. They’ll understand. Don’t fear something before you even try it.

8. Don’t expect your apology to bring you things you want once again. Don’t expect it to make everything just like it was. Expect it to bring you peace, expect it to bring a rush of guilt, a rush of realization, a feeling of being a better person than you were before. Expect it to make you gentle, more human.

9. Don’t make it a monster, an apology is a gentle, cool breeze when it’s hot as hell in your life. It’s healing. Accepting an apology is tricky business though. I read somewhere that, “If you want to be forgiven, learn how to forgive others.” Apologizing isn’t about seeking forgiveness or granting forgiveness, it’s more like a chance that you give yourself to gasp for breath when both of you are drowning. It isn’t a sign of defeat, it’s a sign of victory. You won over your pride. You chose that person over the darkest parts of your mind.

10. What I sincerely believe to be true is, we should always accept all apologies that we get. I know how it feels, how much courage it takes to accept one’s mistakes, to look down ‘cause you’re so ashamed but you do it anyway, because that person is more important than your pride. I vowed to accept every apology I ever got. Of course, some of them won’t be sincere, some might say it just for the sake of it, but I am not going to lose the chance to pass a sincere one over due to that. Apology is a chance to make things alright and I’m taking and giving as many chances as I can. Life’s too short.

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Submitted to ArtParasites by Oshin Ahlawat

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Painting by Catrin Walz Stein

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